I am going to the tanning bed. I know, I know. It is TERRIBLE. I think so too. But you have to understand - My mother is getting married the first Saturday in May. I am going to be photographed people! This strikes terror in my heart! I am being forced to take drastic measures.
I could preach a sermon on how awful tanning is. I have to fight my gag reflex just to lay in the thing. But there are two very central things that are driving me:
1. I can't look like a ghost compared to everyone else in all of the pictures. (It's just not cool)
2. MOST IMPORTANTLY - Tan fat looks better than white fat! We all know it is true.
I promise that after May 7th I will be back to my sunscreen wearing, sit under the big blue umbrella at the beach self. But until then, if you see me heading in to Tucan Tans, just know that I am ashamed of my vanity and don't laugh at me to my face! Although if I see you I will probably be laughing at myself!
