Sitting in my new familiar spot (nestled in the back) at SBC this morning, I thought back to the time when my little brood first visited and sat in the same place. So much has changed. So much life has been lived. So much hurt. So much growth. God has been so big and at times so hard for me to see.
Living my life in two places and looking forward to an entirely new one has proven to bring me a lot of clarity about how I feel about church. It is hard when you are in the middle of things to really get enough steady ground to see how things are.
Today this is what I saw:
*I saw a quiet strength ripple through the group that remained. Strength that has been forged by fire. I mean burn-down-the-entire-barn kind of fire. Who knew when we were all sitting around talking about what kind of baby food to use or if we thought Beth Moore was too loud or not that we would be called to walk such a painful gut-wrenching path???
*I saw true commitment. The kind of commitment that shows up when it is hard, and when it has been hard for YEARS. That kind of commitment is rare. And it is hard. And is stinks. And it doesn't go un-noticed.
*I thought about how guilty I feel when I enjoy a less-troubled church experience in Virginia and how it must feel like God isn't being very nice to those who He hasn't called somewhere else. You have to wonder why God allows some to move on and then calls some to stay. Staying is hard.
But...
*I saw God move in His people. Every time I have been in service lately I have seen Him in way I haven't seen Him in way too long. Not that He hasn't been good or been at work, it is just different. It is like abandoned reliance. It is not because of an amazing leader or a flawless service, it is a movement from within the body of Christ, being led by Christ alone. Maybe the easy road, while it seems so much easier, isn't the better way. SBCers are walking a path that will bring forth fruit that the comfy path can never produce. Not that it makes it any easier. Those of you who are staying and staying committed - You amaze me. You deserve a medal and a special holiday in your honor. You deserve a break. I really believe God is going to honor your sacrifice. I don't understand why He has called you to this, but I know that He thinks you are up to it. Most people aren't. Our great big God thinks you have what it takes. I can't think of a greater compliment.
So coming from someone that God is in process of calling away. I acknowledge your struggle. I can see how hard it is. I am amazed at how you are allowing God to use you. Don't give up. There is no way God would have brought SBC this far out on a limb to let you fall now. I'm praying that He will hasten to your aid, be everything you need, and allow you to see and enjoy the good that He is working out in your lives.
